Author: Ngoc-Minh Lu, 22/01/2021, Sydney Australia.

For a long time, I forgot the act of smiling. A smile is really enjoyable and can be felt deep down in your soul. The smile on your face may not be all that necessary; the more important smile is the one in your mind; you find deep in your mind the tranquillity and the peace…

Sitting in my backyard in the middle of the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic, I have the opportunity to review my Vô Vi Meditation practice against the backdrop of my life. Please sit down with me, so I can take you through the life story of a little boy born in war-torn Viet Nam, who escaped to Thailand on a cramped refugee boat, fought his way growing up in the big city of Berlin in West Germany, and then finally settled in sunburnt Australia today.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was born to poor parents and a large family in the slums of Saigon, Việt Nam, where his parents were forced to make a living working at a slaughterhouse. When the war between North and South Vietnam got really brutal, and many young people were killed in the battlefields and at times even right in the middle of big cities like Saigon and Huế, the second oldest brother told the little boy: “You must leave. If you stay here, you will die in the war.” So, the boy packed a few pieces of clothing and, led by a young woman, left his home. They walked many kilometers to a bus that took them somewhere he had never been before. They finally arrived at a strange big house, where the young woman left the boy to another stranger. Later on, the boy found out he had been taken to live and work at a slaughterhouse.

That boy was me. I was almost 12 years old.

Each day, at 3 AM, I would wake up, put papers and banana leaves on a trolley, pulled the trolley to the marketplace, helped customers carry pork meat to their trolleys. After the morning task, I would go to school ; after school, I would go back to the slaughterhouse to help kill pigs! I would hear long screams of pigs being slaughtered, followed by silence, then more screams, more silence, on and on… until the day went dark. Then I would be allowed to go home, have dinner, and go up to my hut for school homework. In the night, I often thought of my family, especially of the times my father kissing me on the head when he took me to the zoo. I missed my family, my Dad, and I would cry ; but I knew that if I were home I would be killed in the war. But one night, I dreamt of carrying a woman holding a child in her arms on my shoulder like I would carry a whole pig, climbing up the ladder to my ancestral altar, and then laying the woman and child down in front of it. I woke up really scared and cried. The next morning, I left the slaughterhouse to go back home. It was 1974 ; I was 15.

In 1977, Communist China started a new war with Communist Vietnam. Our family being of Chinese descent, my parents paid 12 ounces of gold to have a boat organize escape for me first. I was taken to the small Rạch Giá village where finally a small boat full of people stacked like sardines left Viet Nam in the dark. We stayed in the middle of the ocean for 5 days and 6 nights, with no food and only very limited water ; on day 6, our boat saw land, so we all jumped into the ocean trying to swim to land ; one person did not make it and passed away in my arms. We had landed in Sing Chanthaburi, Thailand. At the refugee camp there, I stayed with the Luc children ; all of us were teenagers, without parents. Dung, the oldest Lục, was very kind and encouraged us all to learn English to prepare for the future when we should be welcome to a third country. Friendship between me and Dung gradually grew into love ; my first love. In December 1977, my brother, a student in Berlin, West Germany, sponsored me out of the Thailand refugee camp. Dung and I corresponded for a while, but then her letters stopped. I felt so very empty ; I drank alcohol, smoked, and could not make myself focussed to learn anything. After having lived in Berlin for 3 years and still not able to get anything done for myself, I attempted suicide... but I woke up, the sky turning around me; I was still alive! I told myself, “God wants me to live and do something good !” I stopped all smoking and drinking, and focused on studying German. A year later, in 1981, my brother sponsored our whole family, 11 people, from Vietnam to Berlin.

One evening, in November 1983, we were all having dinner; we heard knocks on our door ; it was the police : they told us my younger brother had jumped onto railway track. That night changed our family forever. My mother became a Buddhist nun. I started the Vô Vi Meditation practice…

And I am still practicing the Vô Vi Meditation now... In retrospect, all along these past 38 years of enduring practice of the Vô Vi Meditation, life has often been quite hard, even brutal to me at times ; nevertheless, through bruises and bumps, I have come to realize very clearly that no matter what I do in life, there will always be a force seemingly pulling against me : how I deal with that opposing and pulling force renders my life a true “living school” where I am taught the abilities to adapt and to overcome adversities, eventually forging my survival skills into a willpower and harmonizing capability which are key to help me interact with life in a positive way, and coming out alright at the end.

Today, both my beloved daughter and son have graduated university. As for myself, I have chosen to professionally semi-retire: I have reached CEO-level at the company I worked for, but have discontinued my contract, knowing that I am getting older and soon will no longer be able to, or need to, keep up with the stress of full-time work. Today and everyday, I wake up at 5AM, jog, shower, go to work, study in the evening, then practice the Vô Vi Meditation at the late hours of night.

The older we get, the weaker we are in health ! What will we do when we get old ? What can we do when we do not know how to overcome a problem ? The older we get, the chances of us being able to go on living become so much narrower.

Without the Vô Vi Meditation, I would not have been able to make it, and would not be here today ; I probably would have jumped into the train tracks like my younger brother did, which broke my family. I am very grateful to my friend Tô Trường Xuân for having come to my rescue and introduced me to the Vô Vi Meditation when I was in dire need of help to overcome deep sadness, anxiety, and depression over the tragic loss of my young brother.

Every night during meditation, I often ask myself how did I do today? The answer would come in the silence deep inside me: a tiny point of light subtly shines very brightly at the top of my head, seemingly covering me entirely in my lotus sitting position ; my breath slows down, and I don’t remember how long I remain sitting. I only am conscious of this wide feeling of soothing happiness deep inside of me ; my mind peaceful and pure. This soft feeling can remain for a whole day, sometimes for weeks. The silence of harmony with the inner bright light at the top of my head keeps me warm, and takes me to live the sanctity deep down in my heart, the happiness with all elements around me, and the compassion for those who have lived in fear, sadness, confusion, and loss like myself in the past. Focused at the midpoint on the top of my head, I quietly and mentally invoke the “Nam, Mo, A, Di, Da, Phat” mantra constantly, continuously, until everything fades away. The warm white light goes up gradually within me, and I feel nothing ; everything quiet ; only my breath and my heart beating softly at the top of my head. How long was I in meditation ? I don’t really know, but when I wake up and check the clock, one hour, one and a half hour could have gone by. Then I go back to sleep and smile when I lie down.

To me, this is the benefit and happiness of practicing the Vô Vi Meditation. I hope one day maybe you will join me, and together we will learn to smile and experience the inner tranquillity and happiness that we all long for in the midst of this chaotic sorrowful life.

Ngoc Minh Lu (盧思賢)
Sydney, 18/01/2021